Friday, August 27, 2010

Another Reason to Run: A Reminder of the Un-Sexiness of Marriage and Other Cohabitation

"always something there to remind me..." --Naked Eyes

As legend would have it, when women think about marriage, they think about the beautiful wedding, the waking up to the same [beautiful] face every morning, the romance, and so on and so forth. Want to know what I think about? The fact that no matter how you try to avoid it, you are going to be, at some point, highly grossed out. Honestly, do you ever think about just how much hideous crap you see and experience when you're married? I know: it's par for the course and when you love someone, nothing really matters. I understand this conceptually; I was deeply in love just a few short years ago, and there were plenty of disgusting acts, sounds, smells, and sights that, generally speaking, only endeared him to me more. But we never really *lived* lived together--nor were we required to by law. Sure, we spent plenty of time together, plenty of nights together, but every once and awhile, there was a break. Ideally, a married couple lives together. Every day. And there's no way out except a courthouse jaunt and division of assets. And so, when you come across the occasional childbirth or stomach flu or menstrual accident or food poisoning, it seems like the first thought after suppressing the inclination to vomit would be, 'wow this is really not sexy...and it's all I got'. Introducing "The Kush".

Sure, I'm being mildly facetious and a little misanthropic--anyone that you marry (or otherwise shack up with) will be someone you're more than comfortable accommodating in any number of ways. When you exchange bodily fluids you might as well toss a pillow that looks like a deformed dildo in between your tits--because really, at that point, what's left to imagine?

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