Thursday, February 19, 2009

For Love Or Money

"love peace and happiness/i want all the things that lovers do/a pocketful of dreams come true..."--Calloway

"And that is why, when it comes to money, marriage is such a privilege."

--Right, marriage is a financial privilege. That's why the rich are always rushing to get married, because it makes them richer. And your marriage money growth isn't at all affected by little things like pre-nuptial agreements or the nearly 60% divorce rate in this country. No, no, we're all the exception, not the rule. All of our marriages last. Therefore, it is a wise financial decision. Right on, Suze.

"You will save thousands, tens of thousands of dollars, all kinds of money, if you're allowed to be married."

--There are a lot of men who would vehemently disagree with that statement.

"That is why, in my opinion, it is such a travesty that a few months ago Proposition 8 in California passed, Proposition 2 in Florida passed. What is that about, everybody?"

--Okay, watch closely for the Suze Orman gay lifestyle sell.

"We are taking away a birthright, if you ask me, for people to get the most out of the money that they have spent their lives working for."

--Ahhh, there it is. Strong word there: birthright. Good opening...what's next?

"These people are making money, they pay taxes on the money."

--Yeah, it's pretty obvious they're making the money. The live in the cutest urban enclaves in America and next door to every new Pottery Barn and Williams & Sonoma that hits the US market. That stuff ain't cheap.

"Every single one of us deserves to have the same financial benefits, whether we are gay or whether we are straight."

--And you, Suze, are gay, which I point out only because I feel like you're making an emotional and senseless appeal for the first time I can recall. You're a gay financial advisor, and I question whether that makes you blind to the fact that the folks you are addressing, the folks who voted "yes" on Prop 8? Yeah, they don't care so much about the financial benefits of marriage for you guys. Do you think that the millions the Mormon's pumped into the effort was a direct affront solely to your desire to get some mutual funds with your bottom bitch? Not quite.

"And therefore, we have to do everything we can to turn that around. Every single one of us deserves to be loved, every single one of us deserves to love, and every single one of us deserves to make the most out of the money that we have. That's my Valentine's Day wish for every single one of us."

--"And my other Valentine's Day wish is to ring the NYSE bell and make love all day on crisp $100 dollar bills."

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