Friday, January 30, 2009

They've Gotten A Room...

"i don't want nobody/always/sittin around/me and my man/i don't want nobody/always/sittin right there/lookin at me and that man..."--Aretha Franklin

Okay, I love to see it too. The Obamas turn me like everyone else. Not in a sexual, wanna-come-with? kind of way, but in an admiring wow-you-guys-are-really-still-in-love-after-16-years kind of way. I love their PDA, I love their language about each other, I love their body language. But someone, somewhere has to draw the line.

Barack and Michelle are no longer just Barack and Michelle. They're President and First Lady Obama. They don't live in their South Side colonial; they live in The White House. It's cool to make mention of the fact that the First Couple is still actively affectionate every now and then--it's such an anomaly that it's hard not to mention and even harder to ignore. But I think it's time that we start giving their incredibly sacred and beautiful partnership the respect its position deserves. During the election, it was great to see the ladies on The View wax rhapsodic about the Obamas' love and even funnier to see Wanda Sykes' ear pulling and booty slappin' routine on Leno about Barack and Michelle's lamp-breaking sexscapades. And frankly, I'm sure it goes down just like Mike Alvear thinks it does. But it's probably better for us all if we stop picturing Barack and Michelle wheelbarrowing around their White House bedroom. They have other things to do. I'm 100% certain that they make time to make love--it's rather obvious--but they do have two very high-profile, important jobs and as their record proved they would, they're already doing them quite well. They're also very involved parents. I'm pretty sure Michelle's not spending her days red-tabbing pages of the Karma Sutra to try at night. Not saying Barack's not slippin in as often as he can, but he's been pretty busy and I'm sure that getting four hours a sleep a night doesn't make anyone feel like a porn star.
I know, I know. In my lifetime, we've had a President who adored his wife but was too old and too long before Viagra to lay the pipe, a President who couldn't possibly have been having sex with his wife if there's anything sacred in this world, a President who was having sex with everyone but his wife, and most recently a President who probably had sex with his wife on birthdays and major holidays. So yes, I am beyond glad that we have a First Couple that's a model of true, devoted, committed love, respect, and passion. But it's slightly embarrassing that, as a nation, our media is so taken with the sensual life of the leader of the Free World. I'm sure that Michelle, as a true lady, is quickly tiring of everyone discussing what's going on in her bedroom. Yes, they're a sexy couple. Yes, they kiss a lot. They hold hands. They touch foreheads and generally act like the other one is going to get it when they get alone. Yes, America, our President and his wife put it down like they mean it, okay? Okay. So maybe we can get the press out of those people's underpants already.

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