Friday, January 16, 2009

Daily DIC: A Day Late

"now that i'm miss thang/now that i'm a zillionaire/you scan the credits for your name/and wonder why it's not there..."--Alanis Morisette

New rule: con men should be easy on the eyes. Definitely not easy on the eyes, however, is the new opportunist in Oprah's life, a portly and pathetic old man who undoubtedly is still trying to
make something notable of what looks to have been a rather mediocre life. That's the only reason that he would come out 23 years after the fact with a book (The Wizard of O) and try to put Oprah on blast for doing cocaine. She had to be doing cocaine to be kicking it with this winner, a certified jerk who showed his character a long time ago when he tried to sue her for $20 million because he couldn't publish his tell-all; O's fault, of course, because of the publishing industry being so deep in her pockets with all her dastardly Book Club antics. Yes, the nerve of Oprah trying to encourage people to read! Oh, for shame. Also--and it must be said--we all know the first sign of a cokehead/crackhead is weight loss! Doesn't take a genius to see that Oprah couldn't have been hittin the pipe too hard and that she's not hittin it now. So what? I'd be quite surprised if this cad came up.

The saddest part of this whole thing is that Oprah actually loved him. "I can't think of anything I wouldn't have done for that man," she says. And in same old news, O, he can apparently think of some things he wouldn't do for you. 

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