Friday, January 23, 2009

Daily BIC: Woman to Woman

"i figured i'd talk to her woman to woman..."--Macy Gray

My Dearest Macy,

I hope this letter finds you well. At the very least, I hope it finds you sober. I'm quite the fan of yours! A few years ago, I absolutely could not stop playing "I've Committed Murder". What a genius song! You are very talented. Barack is actually partial to "Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak" from your first album. But I digress. Obviously, I'm not writing you out of the blue for nothing. I'm writing because recently, you asked a question.

Perhaps you recall. I suppose there was some sort of discussion of Barack, upon which you announced that you were in love with him, that you wanted to get married, and have his kids. And then, you asked the question--actually three questions-- "why am I not Michelle?", "who the f**k is she?", and then another "why am I not her?". Well, Macy, I'd like to try to answer those questions for you, as a courtesy. As you probably know I'm said to be a very elegant, gracious, and intelligent woman, which is certainly subjective; and yes, it's true that I am the First Lady of the United States. Between you and me, being fairly new to this role, I'm still adjusting to the process of reconciling who I am with who I need to be for the country. That said, I don't want my title to fool you. 

I am from the South Side of Chicago. Your pipe dream? Being in love with Barack, marrying him, having his kids? Been there, done that. That's who the f**k I am. And furthermore, I don't appreciate your forcing me to use that vulgar language. The reason you aren't me is because we serve an awesome God--and also because Barack prefers his women drug-free. I don't mind your crush on my husband, Macy--honestly, join the club--and I'm certainly not threatened by your comments. However, please avoid blatant disrespect. I get enough of that from Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. This is not an attempt to intimidate you, Macy. I love you with the love of Jesus Christ, as I love everyone. But the next time you run off at the mouth while you're on a bender, don't expect what you get to come in the mail.

Best of luck with your music! I look forward to hearing nothing but hits from you.

All the best,

Michelle L. Obama