Friday, December 19, 2008

Ignorance As Currency

"i got love for the game/but ay i'm not in love with all of it/could do without the fame/the rappers nowadays are comedy..."--T.I.

In 2009, let's do something about the ridiculousness in hip-hop, which, I pray, seems to be coming to an ugly head. We should pop it, already.

The "But I Have Dark Friends" School of Hip-Hop Artists

From Ne-Yo's recent comment about the cutest children being fair-skinned to Yung Berg's ludicrous statements about "dark butts", we've had our fill of the Willie Lynch Era in hip-hop. We should ignore these niggers until they learn to watch what they say and acknowledge the implications of their chatter.

The "Teachers Passed Me Because They Hated Me" School of Hip-Hop Artists

First of all, let's all focus on the unfortunately infectious, yet undeniably retarded refrain: "supaman dat ho" or "superman that ho", a phrase that denotes an act I'd rather not, but somehow feel compelled to discuss. This is a 17 year-old kid with the mind of a worm and a moderate amount of pop success earned by crafting a catchy song about busting on a blanket and throwing it on the naked back of a "ho". No, I'm not kidding; but I wish I was. When he sent the disgusting and blatantly ignorant "shoutout" to the slave masters who brought Africans to America, without whom [Black Americans] wouldn't be here to "get this ice and tattoos", we should have just ignored him and acted like he never existed. Instead, it became the election 2008 of the black blogosphere. And even though he later said he was being "funny" and "sarcastic", why are we even paying attention to this idiot? When the public has become so dumb that we debate the comments of someone whose entire first single was completely incoherent, things have gotten pretty bad.

The "Supahead" School of Hip-Hop Artists

After the first book, when it was revealed that just about anybody with clout in the hip-hop culture had smashed, I was sure they'd learned their lesson. Lo and behold, there came a second book--with new information. R. Kelly really said it best: "niggas will do anything/for some pussy". I still had hope in our brothers, though; I had hope that common sense would prevail. And just when I assumed there would be no one who would dare risk his health or reputation by sidling up to this woman, she pops up pregnant. By, she claims, Bow Wow. Wow. Bow, in his defense, took to Youtube with a now-unviewable freestyle in which he rhymes "i hear these rumors about Supahead/boy y'all funny/i wrapped it up like a Christmas gift/i ain't no dummy". No, I'm not kidding. But I wish I was. Fellas, c'mon...you've been around long enough to know that whomever is joined with a prostitute becomes one body with her! For real, let's first be a little more discerning and otherwise have a little more discretion. As my grandmother always said, "if you can't be good, be careful!"

I'm not even going to go into all of the artists that went to jail this year for weed, guns and paparazzi assault. That's too exhausting. I know it's hard because we grow to like their music, but we have to help these people help themselves and stop supporting them when they're ridiculous. That would include R. "Golden Shower" Kelly, whose newest album contains such hits as "Might Be Mine" and "Come At The Same Time".

No...but I wish I was.

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