Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Period BIC

"every month, it is woman’s fate to face the abyss of time and being, the abyss which is herself..."--Camille Paglia

So, after much hesitation and deliberation, I've decided to give Ro's theory about 7-10 days before a cycle being the start and finish of our greatest BIC adventures. Two things led me to this conclusion. Of course, the first is my own behavior--I can't count back as far as Ro (who has recently examined the last decade--via emails--to conclude that her BIC is PMS-related), but I can certainly say that the past couple of years of BIC falls into Period BIC territory. This was again exhibited in a particularly hasty fashion on my part last week, which, come to find out was not too long before my inconsistent cycle decided to show up. The second thing that led me to this conclusion was the behavior of a dear, dear friend who, on Saturday, exhibited more clearly BIC behavior than I've seen in her since 2002.

My initial hesitation wasn't that the theory was stupid or unrealistic, it's that I feel a lot of women are quick to attribute any behavior deemed outlandish by men (and some other women) as "PMS". Everything is not PMS; sometimes, things just need to be said or done, and as women we shouldn't have to apologize for wanting our most basic needs and concerns addressed. On the flip side, men are actors and initiators and women are reactors. And a lot of times our reactions are hormonal, it's just fact. So, I won't bore you with the minute (and embarrassing) details of my recent BIC (it involved an email but that's as much as I'll divulge), but I will regale you with a little anecdote about one of my dearest friends who spent a healthy portion of Saturday's beautiful afternoon sitting outside of a restaurant waiting for her...umm, boyfriend (?) to come out. It's an old story: he's a commitment-phobe to the nth degree and she's a serial monogamist since the age of 15. He does everything right when they're together and everything wrong when they're not. Well, on Saturday, he was wrong to tell her that he was working at home and couldn't be bothered to have lunch. So, of course, when she stopped into their favorite Saturday haunt to have a burger without him, she was a little shocked to find him there.

Surprised to see him, as his last text had dismissed the possibility of them meeting as a distraction, she said "I didn't expect to see you, I was going to have my lunch here."

"And I'm having mine," he snapped, returning to his meal (sometimes a DIC is really just a dick, by the way).

Since apparently, I'm the queen of all things BIC amongst my friends and the go-to for a green-light to behave like a maniac, she began texting me furiously as she returned to her car, waited for him to exit and then proceeded to begin following him to his house in plain view, both crying and laughing the whole way. Although her behavior seemed suspicious, it was not until I spoke to her later after the action had died down that she confirmed that she was only days from her period. Further confirmation, I'd say. All of this compounded by the fact that when he made a sudden u-turn to dodge her, she called his home voicemail and left an "MF"-laced diatribe. Very unlike her. Either they'll never speak again or he'll never miss a Saturday lunch...time will tell.

In any case, I kicked it with a homeboy on Sunday and we found ourselves in a discussion about male/female interaction. Like many men, our conversation deteriorated to that place where he sneered that women just like "blame everything on their periods." According to him, having had a period for well over a decade, I should be "used to" and "ready to deal with" what my period entails (his response to my recent BIC behavior, no less). First of all, it isn't true that we blame everything on our cycles. But second of all, so what if we did? What men will never understand is how freakin uncomfortable a period can be, and that it's not just an inconvenient occurrence. It literally affects your hormone levels. And that's just the bargain basement version--I happen to have a condition that makes it even worse than normal. We know what happens when pain sets in--reason goes out of the window. You can't deal with pain and with reason, at least I can't (and I won't). So, if my buttons happen to be pushed before I get my monthly dosage of Naproxen in my system and I have to react from a place of hormones and discomfort, the ish might not be pretty. And none of us should apologize for that. Now, apologizing for the behavior is another story...I have decided that I think I have to apologize for my BIC behavior--again. Even though it was directed towards a DIC, I think it's possible I went a little overboard. I blame Aunt Flo, even though this is becoming an old story.

And seeing as how the old hag is always making me look so bad, I really wish she could help me eat all of this damn crow.


tory said...

from a med standpoint, bic can be very natural and real during that time of the month....but i think sometimes as women we but the blame on our cycles as the cause of our bic issues...we play into the bic a bit too much and over exaggerate that shyt....if you are a bic, you is a bic...stop using the cycle as an excuse! be proud!

Tyra said...

My BICest moments coincide with my period. I think BICs are just BICs but hormones (and alcohol) def fan the fire.