Thursday, May 22, 2008

Ego Trippin

“a broad that don’t love me don’t love herself…”-a guy I used to know

The other day, a man told me something about myself that, for once, had [relatively] nothing to do with being “crazy”. He informed that I have an ego, otherwise known as a high opinion of oneself. I felt my cheeks get a little red, but I didn’t respond because, as usual, the writer in me takes a minute to formulate comebacks for damn near everything. So I said nothing. But looking back, I wish I had. I wish I’d had the presence of mind to tell him how hard-won my “ego” is, how many years it took me to fully see how brilliant, talented and beautiful I am. I wish I’d had the words right then to sweetly let him know how all society does to women is make them question their intelligence, their capabilities, their looks, how during the course of every 24 hours, there is something self-esteem defying for every girl. I wish I’d told him how living in LA and working in the entertainment industry either makes or breaks you, and the girl that feels better about herself, more grounded, and like a better person on the other side is blessed.

As the quote above conveys, someone I used to know when I was far too young to know better used to tell me that a girl that didn’t love him didn’t love herself. Of course, I later discovered this to be untrue. However, the little saying stuck with me, and while it’s hilarious to me, it’s also real talk. And it’s the reason I feel like a guy that doesn’t get me, doesn’t get it.

Just saying.

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