Thursday, May 8, 2008

Can't Knock the Hustle

"to quote the all-time classic film The Color Purple: I's married now!"--Mariah Carey

Y'all know I don't usually touch this type of tabloid-sensation mess, but it's just too good. It's too good! I know I'm late but I just have to have this documented on this site as major BIC history. In fact, next February, this will be one of the BIC History Month stories.

I consider Mariah the quintessential R&B BIC, and on the occasion of her wedding, only this site could truly honor her decision to marry 27 year-old, goofy-behind Nick Cannon, who after his kissy relationship with Christina Milian and subsequent engagement to Selita Ebanks went bust, was apparently still desperately looking for love. Well, he found it. All 5'9", water-based implant D-cup, 5-inch stilettos, $300 million of it. Understandably, he's upped his game. He pulled out the big guns this time around: Selita's rock was 12 carats...Mariah? 17. Christina, regrettably, never got anything but tears. (Sadly, did we ever care?)

As for the Mrs., Mariah's BIC usually includes losing it over unrequited love or being done wrong, but it appears she's lost it over unconditional love and being done extra right this go round. Not that I'm knocking it because they actually appear to be in love or something very much like it.

However, being that this is a celebration of insanity, I must point out how deep the BIC goes in this situation (not that there's anything wrong with that):

1. The huge "Mariah" tattoo on Nick's back that I pray he never has to have removed.

2. The smaller but equally hasty "Mrs. Cannon" tat on Mariah's lower back (that she had done 3 weeks before the ceremony when they'd known each other a little over a month).

3. The fact that they've known each other less than 8 weeks. I understand true love can't wait but...fall weddings are beautiful.

4. The fact that they're planning to have children. Which is a little scary. In my recollection, Mariah's always said she didn't really want children. All I ask is that they try this thing for a year before adding crumbsnatchers to the equation.

5. Lesbian BIC Da Brat was there, skinnin and grinnin with the Cannons. No surprise there and further, that really doesn't have anything to do with anything, I just wanted to say "Lesbian BIC".

Other than that, I wish them the best. Mariah actually looks elated and Nick looks pretty damn excited himself. I just hope this thing lasts, because if it doesn't we'll not only have sad sob ballads for days from Mrs. Carey-Cannon, but there will be hella MC-bashing on Wild'n Out, and you know I can't take that.

1 comment:

tyra said...

Lesbian BIC. It is fun to say. Its like MC is trying to top her already over-the-top BIC. Thanks for making sure to comment on this...