Thursday, April 24, 2008

BIC in Black

"goodbye/doesn't mean a thing/to you and I..." -Gerald Alston

Get ready to wail, folks. This BIC is in mourning. Life is a series of goodbyes: you meet, part, sometimes meet again, but mostly not. Sometimes the departure is welcome, but other times it sneaks up on you until one morning you wake up and realize it’s been three weeks since you’ve spoken with someone that you used to stay on pins and needles waiting to hear from. And when that realization comes for some folks it’s a cause for BIC. It’s a “wow, that dude hasn’t called me” causing you to try to ferret out all the info that you’ve been missing. It might manifest itself as a drive by on his block, a drop in to his favorite restaurant, or a call to his mama (just calling saying “hey” Ms. Jackson). You go through the five stages, denial, grief, BIC, anger (BIC squared) and “fuck him.” Until finally, acceptance. But there’s the other three weeks notice and that’s where I am. When you realize, it’s you that hasn’t called and he’s just taken that cue to give you what he thinks you’re asking for. No five stages here. Just resignation and the realization that, for a time, the three-week gap would have been unheard of. Now, it’s acceptance that what you had was great then and now you mourn. But if you’re lucky, the relationship evolves.

1 comment:

Ashleigh Marie said...

I enjoy having you as a contributing editor, Ro!